Lately, life has been kind of suffocating. It’s actually crazy how at one point I thought that I finally got my shit together, then life happened and reality hit me straight on the face once again.
It’s been months since I last felt okay and it’s been a struggle since then. And it’s hard knowing that no one can actually help me but myself and I haven’t felt this way before, ever. I badly want to scream and tell the world to stop and hold still for a second because I honestly can’t keep up anymore.
I hate it, I hate this—not knowing what to do and where this is all coming from is very stressful. Suddenly, waking up every morning is the hardest thing to do and I always find myself looking forward to the afternoons when I get to go home and when I finally do get home, I feel exhausted and tired and helpless, not to mention the stress that adds up to it when everyone and everything at home seems to be in such chaos.
I’ve never felt so alone in my life and it’s crazy because I am almost always surrounded by people and the weird part is, on most days, I feel more at peace when I am alone at a coffee shop or at home than I am when I am with other people. Maybe I just got used to it, maybe I’m no longer happy with what’s currently happening in my life since everything has been “just a routine” and I don’t know how, but one thing is for sure, I gotta find my way out of this.