Way back in college, I’ve always liked the idea of being an “adult.” Back then, it feels like everything in the “real world” is much easier than going to school and having to study for quizzes, exams, or preparing for thesis reports. So when I graduated, I was so happy and the future seemed so bright, yet here I am now — more confused than ever.
It started when my supervisor in my first job left for another job, and the one who replaced her can actually be pertained to as the epitome of stress. That caused the whole team to feel just as stressed as she was, and we grew farther away from each other. Before, we used to feel like we were family, despite the problems the team had to face every once in a while, but when she stepped in, it all suddenly just went crumbling down.
So I eventually gathered up all the courage I have and looked for another job. I left with a heavy heart, because I’ve met a lot of awesome people there. We’ve become so close, that it felt like I could open up to them about everything. Yet, I thought, I had to leave for my future. I pursued my dreams of becoming a writer and was so happy that despite the little experience I have when it comes to writing, I was accepted for a job as one.
Little did I know that it would just add up to all the stress and depression that I’m already going through. It’s hard to explain, in a way, because the work itself is bearable and it’s actually what I wanted. But the environment, the surroundings, the schedule, the forced overtimes, the “owner…” Everything just added up to the stress.
So right now, I don’t really know where I go from here. But I’ve been reading this book by Nicholas Sparks, See Me, and as I continued reading, there are parts of the book that feels like it’s giving me a sign:
“While she’d been certain that things would be better once she was settled in, she’d slowly come to realize that job stress simply came in different flavors, and this one wasn’t much better tasting than the one before it.”
Just exactly how I’m feeling. And here’s another one:
“Work is important because I have to support myself, but so are friends, health, rest.”
I am still weighing my options and I’m thinking all this through because I don’t want to jump right into something that I will regret soon. I just hope that I find the answer to all my questions, before I go insane with all that’s going on in my life right now.