Dustypromises Turns 11

Hi! A couple of weeks ago, I posted on my Instagram that I am celebrating my 11th anniversary in the blogosphere; that was on October 8th. I’ve been meaning to write something here, it’s just that I can’t find the time and I haven’t been in a “writing mood” lately. But I have some free time right now, so here it is! ♡

Honestly, I can’t even believe it’s been that long since I started this little corner of mine in the internet. I was young — 15 years old! — and all I wanted was for someone to listen to me and a place where I could vent out all of my teenage angst. I found out about blogging, did a couple of research, registered for so many platforms until I settled down on Tumblr where I met so many people who share the same sentiments as me. There I talked about daily life, my thoughts on random things, etc. Dustypromises have been a place where I find comfort throughout the years. Continue reading

The Dusty Diary #2

I haven’t been myself lately.

Yup, you read that right. I haven’t been myself lately, again. Just when I thought I have finally moved past that phase. It’s been five months since I last wrote that first entry for The Dusty Diary where I talked about how my anxiety has been getting worse during the pandemic. I said that I’ve been trying out different things that I think might help me get through it. I didn’t write any updates about it, but during the past couple of months, I really felt like I’ve been doing better.

So to give you a brief run down of what I’ve been busy with during the past couple of months, I’ve been:

  • reading a lot, of course.
  • watching a lot of anime.
  • buddy-watching a series with my boyfriend.
  • active on bookstagram.
  • trying to do bullet-journaling.
  • doing some workout.

It worked for a couple of months as I’ve mentioned at the start of this post. But in the past week, I’ve been feeling a bit down for no apparent reason. It’s frustrating just how when I thought I am finally getting better, here’s the anxiety again, looming over my head like a dark cloud. 

So I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking what I could have done wrong in the past couple of days for my anxiety to resurface, and I came to the conclusion that maybe I’m just feeling a little burnt out from work. I’ve seen it coming, but I didn’t know how to deal with it because what should I do? I need to work to earn money and suffice my needs (and wants). So I ignored it, whatever it was, I just had to ignore it because I can’t file a leave every time I feel this way. I thought it will go away eventually. I was wrong.

During work days, I always wake up with dread knowing that I’d have to spend 8 hours of my day in front of my laptop, attending meetings, and dealing with my tasks. Sometimes, even a small task feels like it’s going to take me forever to finish it. I keep reminding myself that I’ve done bigger tasks and have submitted each of them way before the deadline itself, but it just doesn’t work — I feel entirely restless most of the time. So I always find myself just looking forward to the weekend, so I can have all my time to myself. 

Yet, these days, it’s either I sleep a lot or don’t get any sleep at all and it’s infuriating. There are nights where I’ve been awake until the wee hours of the morning, listening to music that might help me fall asleep while drawing spirals, the way John Green told me to. It’s funny thinking about it, if you’re not suffering from the same thoughts.

I’ve also been suffering from migraines more often these days which almost always result to my being irritated. I snap at everyone who talks to me because I feel like I need more silent moments — I just don’t want to speak with anyone. There are also times when I am in a desperate need for an escape and on most days, it’s through reading that I find my peace. I lock myself up inside my room, just so no one can come in and pull me away from my book. Sometimes, it’s through journaling as it keeps me busy, especially when I’m trying to think of ideas that will make a spread look pretty enough. But there are days when I crave a different kind of escape — I just need to get away from this dark empty space inside my head.

So, yes, here I am again; back at where I started. Again, trying to write all of my thoughts thinking that if I do, this blank space will take all of it away. If you made it up to this point, thank you for listening, even if this doesn’t have any conclusion at all.

Eureka! Moment #7: Bullet Journal

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Hey, everyone! Today I’ll be sharing something that I have not really discovered for the first time — it’s more like rediscovering. I have always loved writing and I have kept a diary ever since elementary school, but it was just a plain diary full of random writings, notes, and quotes. I tried organizing my diary as I’ve seen my aunt do for her own diary, but I just lack those creative juices back then, so I stuck with just writing my feelings down. As I’ve said a thousand times already, writing has always been therapeutic for me — it has been sort of an outlet for releasing my stress, anxiety, anguish, and all the feelings I could not say out loud. That’s also the reason why I have this blog in the first place. Continue reading

Me? An Otaku?

I have always considered myself as an avid reader, so I read almost anything and everything. As I have mentioned in a previous post, I didn’t have a lot of friends when I was in elementary school and books have been my best friends since. I basically devoured every book that is available for me to read.

I used to read a lot of romance books (because my mom used to have a lot of Nicholas Sparks pocket books) back then. And in the middle of all that, I was also reading middle-grade fantasy books, nonfiction (e.g., National Geographic magazines, Almanac, Ripley’s Believe It or Not, etc.), comics, and horror books. It was just recently when I discovered the wonderful world of manga (and even more recently, anime).

I’ve always known that manga have a large cult following different types of fans depending on its genre (e.g., yaoi, yuri, shoujo, and others). Being a long-time comic book reader, it was a bit confusing for me when I first started reading manga because of the reversed way of reading it. I know so many people who are quite fans of reading manga. Take for example, my brother — he reads a lot of manga online and I never really cared about it before until I met my boyfriend a couple of years back who asked me to try it. Being a wide-reader, I did try it, but I never really expected to go deep into this fandom.

The quarantine has absolutely turned me into what they call an Otaku, a person with consuming interests in manga and anime. In my side of the world, reading manga or watching anime is synonymous to a geek or a nerd, which I don’t quite understand. In my perspective, I am just reading another book or watching another series/film. It’s still reading, it’s still watching. That’s it.

So what made me continue reading manga? What really cemented my being an Otaku was when I fell in love with Tokyo Ghoul‘s characters. I am far from finished with the first arc because I have yet to complete the physical copies, but I am absolutely obsessed with this manga that I even started reading other titles like One-Punch Man, Kaguya-sama: Love is War, and I recently preordered the Orange Collection Vol. 1 which I am really excited about. Hopefully it arrives this month. I also started reading Cardcaptor Sakura which has been my favorite anime when I was a kid.

Aside from reading manga, I also started watching anime. I started watching Sword Art Online, Erased (which I’ve already finished), and Your Lie in April. It’s been such a fun journey so far and I am absolutely looking forward to more manga to read and anime to watch.

How about you? Do you read manga or watch anime? Maybe you could recommend me something?