With all the things happening in my country and the whole world in the past couple of weeks, it is really hard for me (and, maybe for everyone, too) to find light in these trying times. Classes has been suspended for over two weeks already and the government has encouraged to postpone all gatherings including graduations rites, Sunday masses, etc. I’m really having a hard time taking this all in since I hate being stuck at home because nothing really good happens when I’m here.
In the Philippines, the community quarantine happening in Metro Manila caused a lot of worry and panic to its people. Most of the companies and employees were forced to transition to a work-from-home setup (or skeletal, for those who can’t afford all their employees to WFH) and, for me, the problem not only lies with people lacking cooperation and not following instructions, but also with the government not having concrete plans for such emergencies which is the exact same reason why people tend to panic which caused them to think that it’s better to go home to their respective provinces to avoid the “lockdown.” Continue reading →
Take vacations. You don’t have to feel guilty for not reporting to work nor for leaving your teammates for a day or two.
Take breaks. You can’t actually work for eight hours straight, take a break away from your computer from time to time.
Save your energy. Save your energy for the more important things and stop stressing over something that you have no control over.
Focus on quality. You don’t have to get everything done in a day. Focus on what you’re currently working on and make sure that the quality is good to go regardless if there will be someone available to review it or not.
Give yourself credit. Don’t waste your time overthinking if you’ve disappointed someone or if you’ve done something wrong. Most of the time, you’re doing your best. Don’t be too hard on yourself.
I just feel like writing these down for future reference because they are not only relevant in terms of work, but it also applies to real life situations and instances.
Day in and day out, all I do is write. A lot of people would ask me, “What is it with writing that you adore so much?” The truth is, I’ve tried and tried, but I could never come up with the perfect answer or explanation for that particular question because, really, it had me thinking, what is it with writing that I love so much?
When I am writing, the world seemed limitless and so were my words. Somehow, I feel like when I am in front of my laptop, my hands perfectly coordinates with my keyboard – as if the words flow naturally. It’s like inhaling life itself and penning them down to make every unexpected moment frozen in time.
Every composition is written with a trinket of my blood – siphoning every bit of my heart so I could come up with the perfect prose, the perfect article, the perfect letter – each article symbolizes a different battle scar. So when I write about love, I hope you know that each article took a lot of digging deep into the depths of my heart – every article took a piece of my heart to justify your presence in my midst.
Remember that pens are mightier than swords and each layer I peel out from myself to write about the magnificence of your existence in my life – how your scars are nothing but blemishes to a flawless exterior or how your stare felt like the sun touching my skin or how your smile can turn a stormy day into summer – I am slowly putting down my shield.
You see, every story I write is a moment of weakness; it’s as if I am letting you peek straight into my soul – as if I am slowly destroying the walls surrounding my heart – and slowly opening up to you and to the world before us.
There is another me in a different dimension where I do not feel like this. Another dimension where my heart fits perfectly into my chest and I am not afraid of the things that make me feel alive.
It sucks that I live in this world where everything feels like it’s going to tear me apart. It’s like I’m always waiting for something to snap — for the sky to fall, for the ground to break, for myself to keep falling into an infinite abyss — always waiting for something to crash.
Love taught me that at one point in time, everyone I’ve ever loved had taken a part of me and nothing will ever be left for myself but the bruises, scars, and burns. Continue reading →
I’ve always been someone who wears her heart on her sleeve; someone who loves with all her heart. But growing up, I realized that the downfall of it all is that you let people see parts of you that you can’t get back, parts of you that only you know about; you let them see your fears, and think that they will share it with you, to lessen what you’re feeling, but in reality, you just let yourself be vulnerable to more pain.
It’s ironic that I get to write about all these things, yet I keep going in circles. I’ve always loved love and all the things that come with it — laughter, sadness, happiness, tears — but love isn’t supposed to be complicated, though love isn’t easy either. Love will throw challenges, obstacles, and trials that if you’re not strong enough to conquer, you’ll lose everything you’ve worked hard for.
I can say this over and over again, but most of the time, I go back in circles — I chicken out of being strong. Fear is eating me up, and I badly wanted to run from it and just get rid of this sinking feeling that I’ll eventually end up in tears but I don’t know how to fight it.
It sucks that deep inside, I know that the only reason I’m so sad and tired is because I keep letting fear take over me and I know what to do, yet why does it feel so hard to do so? Why does it feel so hard to just let things be?