It Started With A Greeting & More

Whenever I write about how our relationship started, it always goes back to that one August evening that changed everything.

But I realized that I never got the chance to mention how we actually started talking and hanging out. Today, when I finally got home from a long and tiring day at work, I thought about that one conversation that started it all. It just kind of popped in my mind — it was so sudden, that I had to write about it. Continue reading

Heart On My Sleeve, Etc.

I’ve always been someone who wears her heart on her sleeve; someone who loves with all her heart. But growing up, I realized that the downfall of it all is that you let people see parts of you that you can’t get back, parts of you that only you know about; you let them see your fears, and think that they will share it with you, to lessen what you’re feeling, but in reality, you just let yourself be vulnerable to more pain.

It’s ironic that I get to write about all these things, yet I keep going in circles. I’ve always loved love and all the things that come with it — laughter, sadness, happiness, tears — but love isn’t supposed to be complicated, though love isn’t easy either. Love will throw challenges, obstacles, and trials that if you’re not strong enough to conquer, you’ll lose everything you’ve worked hard for.

I can say this over and over again, but most of the time, I go back in circles — I chicken out of being strong. Fear is eating me up, and I badly wanted to run from it and just get rid of this sinking feeling that I’ll eventually end up in tears but I don’t know how to fight it.

It sucks that deep inside, I know that the only reason I’m so sad and tired is because I keep letting fear take over me and I know what to do, yet why does it feel so hard to do so? Why does it feel so hard to just let things be?

A Year of You

July: I have known you for almost a year before my heart realized that it was you that was missing in my life. With you, it was never like the love at first sight kind of love; it was more like walking into a place I’ve never been but instantly felt like I was home.

August: It was in between whispers, laughter, and genuine smiles when I first heard you say you love me out loud. I could literally hear your heart beat faster and faster and all I came up with was a smile. Little did you know that I kept wishing that moment never had to end.

September: I once had a dream where I was at the beach, just enjoying the fresh air and beautiful view. As I was walking along the shoreline, I saw something moving in the sea — it was you. It was such a weird dream given that we don’t talk all that much before, but you were swimming towards me and I didn’t know what it meant at the time until the day I saw you in a different light.

October: A few months ago, I ran out of motivation to push forward and do better; I used to drag myself out of bed and convince myself that I still have a purpose. But then you came and I’ve never felt that alive in a long, long time.

November: I feel like I am always in a grand adventure when I’m with you; not just because you liked going out and exploring so many places, but even when we’re sitting beside each other sharing our dreams and how we’ll one day take over the world. It was an entirely different planet, an entirely different universe, and the best part of it is that we’re the only ones in it.

December: It was the holidays and I wanted to be with you so bad I wanted to tear the whole world apart for being so unfair, but you were always such a ray of sunshine with all the positivity that you impose which made me realize the brighter side of things; that knowing that you’re mine and I am yours is enough for the meantime.

January: There are days when I felt like I am drowning, but being the swimmer that you are, you always save me even from the monsters inside my head.

February: I received a very pink boquet of roses, and I never liked receiving flowers until it came from you. You were always so thoughtful and sweet and loving, I wanted to hug you forever.

March: It was my birthday and you surprised me with one of the books I’ve been eyeing whenever we visit a bookstore and you were so worried that I wouldn’t like it. Oh, you were so adorable, you didn’t know that just one of those tight hugs would be good enough a gift.

April: We spend almost everyday with each other but I still can’t get enough of you.

May: It was somewhere near our anniversary that I suddenly felt fear because I know that I wouldn’t be able to live the same way if everything turned out differently in the end; I never want to lose you.

June: We spent 10 days out of the country and I never really cared how beautiful all those places were because all that mattered to me was being with you.

My life has been so colorful since you came, I have no words to describe the feeling you give me. You are such a wonderful blessing, I could never thank you enough for simply existing and crossing paths with me. I love you, always.

Scribbles

“Without hesitations, he kissed her lips, her ear, and then her neck which sent shivers along her skin. He placed his hand on her back and held her tight as he continued to kiss her. With every touch of his lips against hers, it made her feel as if she’s worth so much; like she’s priceless. Like she’s some kind of puzzle that he’s willing to solve and piece back together no matter how long it takes.

She nervously placed her hand at the back of his neck and as the kiss deepened, she grabbed a lock of his hair as if she knew exactly what she was doing. She was feeling every feeling at once that she couldn’t think straight. The burst of feelings overwhelmed her.

In between kisses, they both kept whispering, “I love you.” They were smiling at each other like teenagers falling in love for the first time. It was crazy, it was funny, it felt good, but it was all too confusing at the same time. She was too scared, she didn’t know if this night will make or break her.

But she didn’t want to think about that, she wanted to live in the moment while it lasted. She closed her eyes and felt every touch of his lips against hers—against her skin.

She had never felt like that before. Like she wanted nothing more than to be in that moment; no other guy ever made her feel the way he did — no other guy had that kind of power over her.“