Self Appreciation

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I look back at the past 27 years, especially my teenage years, and I remember thinking to myself how hard it is to live in my shoes. Remembering this, in my mind, I see my younger self in glimpses; crying myself to sleep, struggling to get out of bed every day while muttering “ayoko na,” over-eating or not eating at all, being scared or worried or anxious or paranoid, thinking that I will never be good enough, being insecure about the way I look, and constantly overthinking every damn thing. It was such a hard time.

The worst part was that no one, not even my closest friends, knew what I was going through. I’ve always kept things to myself because I was so used to hearing “nag-iinarte lang yan” whenever I speak out my feelings even when I was still a little girl, so I never really knew what having a support system felt like. People who know me since then knows how mentally and emotionally damaged I am to the point that someone even asked me, “Who hurt you?” Continue reading

Five Things I’ve Learned From My Manager:

  1. Take vacations. You don’t have to feel guilty for not reporting to work nor for leaving your teammates for a day or two.
  2. Take breaks. You can’t actually work for eight hours straight, take a break away from your computer from time to time.
  3. Save your energy. Save your energy for the more important things and stop stressing over something that you have no control over.
  4. Focus on quality. You don’t have to get everything done in a day. Focus on what you’re currently working on and make sure that the quality is good to go regardless if there will be someone available to review it or not.
  5. Give yourself credit. Don’t waste your time overthinking if you’ve disappointed someone or if you’ve done something wrong. Most of the time, you’re doing your best. Don’t be too hard on yourself.

I just feel like writing these down for future reference because they are not only relevant in terms of work, but it also applies to real life situations and instances.

#notetoself

Sometimes, you lose sight of what was once so clear, not because you don’t want it anymore, but because there are some things about it that have become way out of control.

No matter how beautiful something is, life just keeps hitting you straight in the face just to point out that you just can’t have it smoothly, but that should never hinder you from believing in your capacity to work things out.

I hope I can.