Two.

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Here’s an attempt at writing our story. I’m not really sure where or how to even begin with this post — How did we really begin?

As I have mentioned in all of my previous blog entries, I found you when I wasn’t even looking for anything or anyone for that matter. You were just there — someone I know by name and someone who I casually have small talks with whenever we ran into each other. It has always been like that between us and nothing more.

Thinking about it now, I can’t believe that just a couple of years ago, you weren’t even part of my life. It feels weird because I feel like I’ve known you forever. Looking back at those days, I can’t really tell when I started developing these feelings for you. There were just no signs — no anything. It just kind of happened.

I remember your birthday back in 2018 when I greeted you a few days early because your birthday fell on a weekend. I vividly remember you telling me to greet you again on your birthday, and I did send you a message via Messenger. The following day was a work day, and you dropped by my work station to give me some gummy worms. Casually, I asked you what it was for and you said that it was your birthday. I honestly didn’t know what to say because you really didn’t have to, so I managed a “thank you.”

I think our conversations frequented after that. It was supposed to be just friendly conversations, given that we both arrive early in the office. It was really nice having someone to talk to early in the morning. I guess, some time during those conversations, something just clicked — I couldn’t say when it all changed, but it did. I used to find myself looking at you from across the room and a lot of the time you were already staring back at me.

I knew I was in love when you started reading one of my favorite book series, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, and my stomach made a double-flip. It was the butterflies, as most people would call it. I just couldn’t stop talking about it, so you told me you were going to read it. It was just the sweetest thing.

Fast forward to 2020 and we’ve been through so much and created a lot of memories together. I know I told you this already, but being with you was the most alive I’ve felt in my 26 years of existence. You made me look at the world in a different angle — I know I still sometimes fail at doing so, but you always manage to get your point through, that everything in this world is all about perspective. It’s hard to do so sometimes when I feel like I am trapped (you know what I mean), but you always try your best to change my take on the world.

Thank you for making my life worthwhile and for bringing out the best in me. Happy anniversary, babe. I will always love you. ♡

JNVQ Diaries: A Love Letter

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Babe,

Happy quarantine birthday! Who would’ve thought that this year would turn out this way? We have so many plans for this year, and I can still remember vividly how we’ve been arguing on how to spend my birthday before the quarantine was imposed. That was in March, it’s been three months and we’re now celebrating your birthday but we still haven’t seen each other since. It’s really frustrating because I miss you so bad. But as I’ve said in my birthday post, we have to be strong while being apart right now, so we can spend a lot of birthdays together in the future.

I know it’s hard celebrating at a time like this, but I hope you enjoy your cake and my not-so-surprise birthday gift that we’ve been talking about for weeks! Haha! I don’t like to be all that cheesy, but I want you to know that I will always love you and you will always be the best decision that I have made for my entire life. I am still happy that I’ve chosen to be with you and I will keep choosing you. I knew you were the right one because you never tolerated my immaturity during my red days even when we argue about it most of the time. I really do appreciate it because you are helping become a better version of myself.

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I would also like to thank you for always being the stronger person in our relationship, I know that there are times when you also feel down because, hey, you’re also human. Yet, you always put me first by trying to appear strong for me and I will always appreciate you for that even if it may not look like so. I would also like you to know that I appreciate your patience and selflessness when it comes to understanding my overthinking, I know it’s also hard for you, but you always manage to help me through my episodes.

With all that, I wish you all the blessings that you deserve. I am looking forward to more adventures throughout the years with you. Thank you for making me feel the most alive I’ve been in 26 years. You are the greatest thrill and adventure of my life.

Thank you for your existence.

I love you.

Yours for always,
Lenn

Those Magical Seconds

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“If happiness could be broken down into units of time, it would be those magical seconds when you said: ‘I don’t want to miss a lifetime with you, Lenn. I love you.'” 

I choose you, too, and I’m truly grateful that we both made the same decision. I am so happy that I wouldn’t have to spend every waking hour of my life wondering what it would feel like being in your arms. I love you for always. ♥

 

What’s with Writing?

Day in and day out, all I do is write. A lot of people would ask me, “What is it with writing that you adore so much?” The truth is, I’ve tried and tried, but I could never come up with the perfect answer or explanation for that particular question because, really, it had me thinking, what is it with writing that I love so much?

When I am writing, the world seemed limitless and so were my words. Somehow, I feel like when I am in front of my laptop, my hands perfectly coordinate with my keyboard – as if the words flow naturally. It’s like inhaling life itself and penning them down to make every unexpected moment frozen in time.

Every composition is written with a trinket of my blood – siphoning every bit of my heart so I could come up with the perfect prose, the perfect article, the perfect letter – each article symbolizes a different battle scar. So when I write about love, I hope you know that each article took a lot of digging deep into the depths of my heart – every article took a piece of my heart to justify your presence in my midst.

Remember that pens are mightier than swords and each layer I peel out from myself to write about the magnificence of your existence in my life – how your scars are nothing but blemishes to a flawless exterior or how your stare felt like the sun touching my skin or how your smile can turn a stormy day into summer – I am slowly putting down my shield.

You see, every story I write is a moment of weakness; it’s as if I am letting you peek straight into my soul – as if I am slowly destroying the walls surrounding my heart – and slowly opening up to you and to the world before us.

It Started With A Greeting & More

Whenever I write about how our relationship started, it always goes back to that one August evening that changed everything.

But I realized that I never got the chance to mention how we actually started talking and hanging out. Today, when I finally got home from a long and tiring day at work, I thought about that one conversation that started it all. It just kind of popped in my mind — it was so sudden, that I had to write about it. Continue reading