I’m engaged!

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proposal

To be perfectly honest, I don’t know how to write this post without ugly-crying in front of my laptop! But I would like to start by saying that our story would never be complete without the whirlwind romance of how it all started. This post is pretty much the sequel to all of my previous attempts of writing the story of us. Jeez, it still feels surreal calling him my fiancé — we’ve openly talked about marriage and our future plans, but being here in this moment, I still couldn’t believe it. It’s been days, yet I still couldn’t believe it despite having started with the wedding preparation.

Our relationship may not be as long as others, but we sure have gone through so much together. I remember that a lot of people didn’t approve of our being together, some even said that what we have won’t last long. Looking back now, it feels like it’s been a lifetime ago, yet I can still remember it clear as day. My past self would feel so good knowing that they were wrong about us and knowing that she made the right choice.

I’ve always felt like I’m constantly making wrong decision after wrong decision my whole life because that’s what everyone around me made me feel, but with you, it just instantly felt right. You pushed me to be a better person and made me realize that taking risks is not always as scary as it seems.

Here, on the first chapter of the sequel of our book, I am both ecstatic and afraid. And that’s okay, because one thing that I learned from our relationship is that the most worthwhile moments are the ones that scare the hell out of me. You’ve proven that, time and time again. Continue reading

Nuvali, Sta. Rosa: Solenad & Amaia Steps

We didn’t want to leave La Finca, but our time was already up. The morning of our check-out date, we still managed to wake up early to do some morning swim. The water was freezing, but nothing can really stop us from taking our final dip in the pool! We started moving and fixing our stuff at around 10:30 AM, took a bath, got dressed, and took some photos before before we left.
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Lipa, Batangas: La Finca Village Healing Community

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It’s been a year since we last got the chance to go on a real vacation, and since they have been easing the quarantine restrictions in the country, we decided to go on a mini getaway just to take a breather from work (and my stress).

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My boyfriend found this place in Lipa, Batangas which not only looked safe, but also very peaceful. The setup is a mini house with its own private pool, so you wouldn’t have to worry about having contact with other people or guests.

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The Dusty Diary #3

Hi, hello. Here I am again, back at this corner of my website to talk and rant about the stuff that I’ve been going through in the past couple of weeks or so.

In a span of three weeks, I’ve had so many realizations about my life that it just seemed a little overwhelming and scary. The realizations started when I had to undergo an out-patient medical procedure (which I’ve gone through back in 2019), it was scheduled on March 2020, but COVID happened and lockdowns were imposed. I’ve been so bothered by the number of cases and deaths at the time that I didn’t want to go to the hospital nor risk going outside in general, so I postponed the procedure. Eight months later, the virus is still here but cities are slowly trying to open up again and we kind of discovered a way to go around it by using masks and shields and just being extra extra careful, so I decided to go on with the procedure because it’s been long overdue — I still didn’t want to go to the hospital so I opted for a clinic instead for just a little bit less possibility of catching the virus and adding up to my current condition.

A few days later, I got my result and it didn’t turn out good. I’ve cried a lot and started to look back on my life — the result scared me out of my wits. I felt devastated and the worst part is that no one seemed to be taking it seriously, so I basically didn’t have anyone to confide in who understands me. The days that followed was either, I didn’t get enough sleep or I sleep the whole day through.

What I hate the most are those moments in the wee hours of the night when I am alone with my thoughts. I was just there — lying in bed and staring up at my ceiling trying to shut my mind. Then I looked back in the past two years and realized that in my almost 27 years of existence, I’ve only started to feel alive in 2018. The past 2 and a half years, even with a lot of pressure and stress, have been the best years of my life. It scared me even more because I wanted to spend more years living that way, I wanted to be able to do things with the person I love — to break rules, to go out of my comfort zone, to go places, and to learn new things.

It’s funny because there were so many times in my teenage years where I just wished that I wasn’t born or that I wish I didn’t have to live a long life so that I can just stop being here. Now, I just wanted to live despite all the stress and problems that I may or may not go through along the way, I just want to live and see for myself. All our plans for our future, I don’t want them to be just plans — I want to actually be in that future, in that moment.

Update: So this week, I decided to go to the hospital and have them do the same procedure on me and the findings turned out to be different from the one that I go back in December. I am so relieved and grateful.

Two.

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Here’s an attempt at writing our story. I’m not really sure where or how to even begin with this post — How did we really begin?

As I have mentioned in all of my previous blog entries, I found you when I wasn’t even looking for anything or anyone for that matter. You were just there — someone I know by name and someone who I casually have small talks with whenever we ran into each other. It has always been like that between us and nothing more.

Thinking about it now, I can’t believe that just a couple of years ago, you weren’t even part of my life. It feels weird because I feel like I’ve known you forever. Looking back at those days, I can’t really tell when I started developing these feelings for you. There were just no signs — no anything. It just kind of happened.

I remember your birthday back in 2018 when I greeted you a few days early because your birthday fell on a weekend. I vividly remember you telling me to greet you again on your birthday, and I did send you a message via Messenger. The following day was a work day, and you dropped by my work station to give me some gummy worms. Casually, I asked you what it was for and you said that it was your birthday. I honestly didn’t know what to say because you really didn’t have to, so I managed a “thank you.”

I think our conversations frequented after that. It was supposed to be just friendly conversations, given that we both arrive early in the office. It was really nice having someone to talk to early in the morning. I guess, some time during those conversations, something just clicked — I couldn’t say when it all changed, but it did. I used to find myself looking at you from across the room and a lot of the time you were already staring back at me.

I knew I was in love when you started reading one of my favorite book series, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, and my stomach made a double-flip. It was the butterflies, as most people would call it. I just couldn’t stop talking about it, so you told me you were going to read it. It was just the sweetest thing.

Fast forward to 2020 and we’ve been through so much and created a lot of memories together. I know I told you this already, but being with you was the most alive I’ve felt in my 26 years of existence. You made me look at the world in a different angle — I know I still sometimes fail at doing so, but you always manage to get your point through, that everything in this world is all about perspective. It’s hard to do so sometimes when I feel like I am trapped (you know what I mean), but you always try your best to change my take on the world.

Thank you for making my life worthwhile and for bringing out the best in me. Happy anniversary, babe. I will always love you. ♡