Two.

image
Here’s an attempt at writing our story. I’m not really sure where or how to even begin with this post — How did we really begin?

As I have mentioned in all of my previous blog entries, I found you when I wasn’t even looking for anything or anyone for that matter. You were just there — someone I know by name and someone who I casually have small talks with whenever we ran into each other. It has always been like that between us and nothing more.

Thinking about it now, I can’t believe that just a couple of years ago, you weren’t even part of my life. It feels weird because I feel like I’ve known you forever. Looking back at those days, I can’t really tell when I started developing these feelings for you. There were just no signs — no anything. It just kind of happened.

I remember your birthday back in 2018 when I greeted you a few days early because your birthday fell on a weekend. I vividly remember you telling me to greet you again on your birthday, and I did send you a message via Messenger. The following day was a work day, and you dropped by my work station to give me some gummy worms. Casually, I asked you what it was for and you said that it was your birthday. I honestly didn’t know what to say because you really didn’t have to, so I managed a “thank you.”

I think our conversations frequented after that. It was supposed to be just friendly conversations, given that we both arrive early in the office. It was really nice having someone to talk to early in the morning. I guess, some time during those conversations, something just clicked — I couldn’t say when it all changed, but it did. I used to find myself looking at you from across the room and a lot of the time you were already staring back at me.

I knew I was in love when you started reading one of my favorite book series, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, and my stomach made a double-flip. It was the butterflies, as most people would call it. I just couldn’t stop talking about it, so you told me you were going to read it. It was just the sweetest thing.

Fast forward to 2020 and we’ve been through so much and created a lot of memories together. I know I told you this already, but being with you was the most alive I’ve felt in my 26 years of existence. You made me look at the world in a different angle — I know I still sometimes fail at doing so, but you always manage to get your point through, that everything in this world is all about perspective. It’s hard to do so sometimes when I feel like I am trapped (you know what I mean), but you always try your best to change my take on the world.

Thank you for making my life worthwhile and for bringing out the best in me. Happy anniversary, babe. I will always love you. ♡

My Skin Care Routine

image

When I first met most of my friends from college, and from work, the one question that almost everyone of them asked was: “What do you put on your face?” or “How do you take care of your skin?”

Before, I only use toner at the end of each day because I always thought that why do I need to put a lot of those products on my face when my skin’s really not acne-prone, anyway? That’s where I’m wrong. Some two or three years ago, I came to the realization that despite not having pimples, I have a mildly dry skin. So I started researching about what products to use, which brand works, etc. Continue reading

Those Magical Seconds

image
image
image

“If happiness could be broken down into units of time, it would be those magical seconds when you said: ‘I don’t want to miss a lifetime with you, Lenn. I love you.'” 

I choose you, too, and I’m truly grateful that we both made the same decision. I am so happy that I wouldn’t have to spend every waking hour of my life wondering what it would feel like being in your arms. I love you for always. ♥

 

The Start & End of A Decade

As we closed another year, we dive not only into a new year but into a new decade and looking back at the past years made me realize how much I went through to survive it. It’s crazy how it feels like 10 years just passed by way too fast. I didn’t even notice that I’ve been out of college for five whole years now. It’s insane.

I started the decade fresh out of high school and wandered my way through college with high hopes for what the future holds for me. I’ve met so many people along the way, and ended the decade with very few real ones and maybe that’s for the best.

I’m ending the decade right after my quarter-life crisis year — 2019 wasn’t easy, and I really hope I find my way through it because, like most people, I’ve also done things that I’m not really proud of. But I do look forward to accepting life and getting over the things that at the back of my head, I know I can never really change anymore.

As everyone’s posting about the successes they’ve achieved in the past 10 years on social media, I’m just here — writing about how proud I am of myself for graduating on time, finding a job, getting over and moving on from things that no longer serve my higher being, losing people, finding the love of my life, trying my best to see the light amidst all the darkness, grasping for air every time life tries to kick me until I run out of breath, and basically surviving and keeping myself alive.

It was a great decade, nonetheless. Not as easy as it seems, but definitely worth it. Again, happy new year! May we spend 2020 learning to finally loving ourselves and making our dreams come true. ♥

What’s with Writing?

Day in and day out, all I do is write. A lot of people would ask me, “What is it with writing that you adore so much?” The truth is, I’ve tried and tried, but I could never come up with the perfect answer or explanation for that particular question because, really, it had me thinking, what is it with writing that I love so much?

When I am writing, the world seemed limitless and so were my words. Somehow, I feel like when I am in front of my laptop, my hands perfectly coordinate with my keyboard – as if the words flow naturally. It’s like inhaling life itself and penning them down to make every unexpected moment frozen in time.

Every composition is written with a trinket of my blood – siphoning every bit of my heart so I could come up with the perfect prose, the perfect article, the perfect letter – each article symbolizes a different battle scar. So when I write about love, I hope you know that each article took a lot of digging deep into the depths of my heart – every article took a piece of my heart to justify your presence in my midst.

Remember that pens are mightier than swords and each layer I peel out from myself to write about the magnificence of your existence in my life – how your scars are nothing but blemishes to a flawless exterior or how your stare felt like the sun touching my skin or how your smile can turn a stormy day into summer – I am slowly putting down my shield.

You see, every story I write is a moment of weakness; it’s as if I am letting you peek straight into my soul – as if I am slowly destroying the walls surrounding my heart – and slowly opening up to you and to the world before us.