As we closed another year, we dive not only into a new year but into a new decade and looking back at the past years made me realize how much I went through to survive it. It’s crazy how it feels like 10 years just passed by way too fast. I didn’t even notice that I’ve been out of college for five whole years now. It’s insane.
I started the decade fresh out of high school and wandered my way through college with high hopes for what the future holds for me. I’ve met so many people along the way, and ended the decade with very few real ones and maybe that’s for the best.
I’m ending the decade right after my quarter-life crisis year — 2019 wasn’t easy, and I really hope I find my way through it because, like most people, I’ve also done things that I’m not really proud of. But I do look forward to accepting life and getting over the things that at the back of my head, I know I can never really change anymore.
As everyone’s posting about the successes they’ve achieved in the past 10 years on social media, I’m just here — writing about how proud I am of myself for graduating on time, finding a job, getting over and moving on from things that no longer serve my higher being, losing people, finding the love of my life, trying my best to see the light amidst all the darkness, grasping for air every time life tries to kick me until I run out of breath, and basically surviving and keeping myself alive.
It was a great decade, nonetheless. Not as easy as it seems, but definitely worth it. Again, happy new year! May we spend 2020 learning to finally loving ourselves and making our dreams come true. ♥
There is another me in a different dimension where I do not feel like this. Another dimension where my heart fits perfectly into my chest and I am not afraid of the things that make me feel alive.
It sucks that I live in this world where everything feels like it’s going to tear me apart. It’s like I’m always waiting for something to snap — for the sky to fall, for the ground to break, for myself to keep falling into an infinite abyss — always waiting for something to crash.
Love taught me that at one point in time, everyone I’ve ever loved had taken a part of me and nothing will ever be left for myself but the bruises, scars, and burns. Continue reading
I am launching a new series on my blog called Eureka! Moment. I got this idea from our weekly stand-up meetings in the office where we were supposed to share something that we recently discovered — a new book, an old place that we do not know of, a new song, events, etc. I think they came up with this idea to help us improve our communication skills. It didn’t push through, though, because projects kept coming our way so we decided that it is more effective for the team if we talked about tasks assigned to each of us instead of sharing random things.
I took note of the topic because I thought it was a great idea to share little discoveries with everyone. I also like to think that discoveries need not to be discovered for the first time in history nor should it be co-related to big, scientific or technological stuff but little things that you find out that you never knew could help keep you going, or things that can make you smile, or simply just things that interest you. Continue reading